Taken For Granted, Granted, Granted

{ Wednesday, April 4, 2012 }
As I lounged on Front Campus this evening with the dimming skyline serving as a backdrop, my mind wandered to how I have listlessly slipped into taking things for granted. Not just things, but my life. I have unconsciously begun to take my existence for granted.

It's scary, isn't it, when you catch yourself wrapped up and living in your most vivid dreams -- the ones you never thought were attainable -- and you nod at them like a familiar friend.

In a few days I'll be on a plane to New York City, again. This time, for an interview. Back to the city that has sucked me in and completely demolished the soil I've grown from. Nothing can compare. This incessant wonder of the future is no longer dinner table chatter or family small talk -- it's happening. The words have finally paved the path to where I need to be. It's real now, and that fact chills me to the bone. Everything beating around in my chest for the past 15 years is materializing, and I don't know quite how to handle it -- yet.

I wish this flight was my one-way ticket out. Out of the familiar territory that I have grown so immune to, away from the faces that I to stare into, unblinkingly, and am forced to treat like perfect strangers, away from my aversion to vulnerability and the blatant ignorance of my feelings (all in the quest of "bliss," or something like it).

We all spiral into the clutches of this emotional epidemic one way or another. I ache for the things that God has promised me. The waiting period is strenuous, tedious and difficult to meander through, but I know it will be worth it.

Something changed in me tonight. Something good. Amazing things are happening right before my eyes, so long as I permanently turn from the setbacks, the vultures of my soul and complacency.

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