For my entire life, I've loved having everything in line, in a-b-c order, in a perfectly balanced sense of calm and collected "control." At a fairly young age I mentally devised a master plan for my life: do well in school, study journalism in college, jet to New York City after graduating- and find a job, fall in love and attain success somewhere in between the lines.
There is something wrong here, though.
Yes, this is my plan, but it really isn't designed for me at all.
In the midst of all of my planning, studying, and preparing I have forgotten that my life is not propelled by my plan, but by God's plan for me.
I feel as though it is entirely too easy to forget this simple truth, and I am making a point to never lose sight of it again.
In my circle of friends I am known as the planner, the one who has her sights set on exactly what she wants. Although my naturally instilled sense of ambition has propelled me through recent years, it has also become one of my faults. I feel as though I am powerful enough to do everything on my own, when in reality...I'm not.
I need to rely on my faith more, and let go of everything else. When I am stressed, I need to turn to Him.
I have always feared appearing "needy," but I am no longer afraid. If anything, I am humbled.
My life is a constant process of change and growth, and I find it truly fascinating to experience all of it firsthand. Life as of late has been phenomenal, and I couldn't ask for more! I am finally letting go and surrendering. The outcome has left me in awe.
I no longer hold onto those who do not value my kindness or take my friendship for granted- I have let them go, only to have something more amazing walk through the door instantaneously (honestly!).
I no longer stress over my school work- the sense of calm that has been instilled in me saves the day, everyday.
I no longer over-think or analyze situations- I have accepted the fact that everything happens for a reason, although it may hurt or not make sense at the moment.
This is not coincidence, irony, or luck- it is Grace actively working in my life.
I'm living life from a new perspective.