Hey, Let's Talk About Things I Hate!

{ Saturday, December 24, 2011 }

A lot of angst this evening. This was such a cathartic experience.

Hollowed Out Documents

{ Saturday, December 10, 2011 }
It's really bizarre looking through this entire blog. It's odd in the sense that it has encapsulated my every little feeling since the now-tender age of 18. This blog, this anthology of nothing more than hollowed out documents, has witnessed my high school graduation, my crumpling up and throwing away of a three-year-long relationship into the wastebasket of regret, countless creative writing attempts (only a few of which I actually deem 'acceptable'), and intermittent peeks into the inner-workings of my head, heart and soul.

However, I never fail to feel intense pangs of remorse for a former self upon reading through past entries. This blog is a lucid, painful reminder of the feelings I never should have felt, the secrets I never should have shared and the various pairs of lips I never should have caressed.

My words don't hold the weighty, dark substance that they used to, and I am completely aware of this. It stings, but it is for the best. No longer am I the girl with the broken wing, nor will I ever be again. I used to be preyed upon like a weak, mysterious delicacy.
I am Redeemed. Life is beautiful, I am strong, and I won't let my past penned works tell me otherwise.

Suffering: Excellent Writing
Happiness: ____________?
...you complete the analogy.

Vlogging With The Persona of a T-Rex

{ Thursday, November 3, 2011 }

Fr: The Tracey Fragments

{ Tuesday, October 25, 2011 }
One day you will fall for him, and he touches you with his fingers.
And he burns holes in your skin with his mouth.
And it hurts when you look at him, and it hurts when you don't.
And it feels like someone's cut you open with a jagged piece of glass,
and then you realized you always felt that way.

Unapologetic Stream of Consciousness

{ Wednesday, October 12, 2011 }
In a week and some-odd days I will be back here.
Back where the balmy air forever smells of asphalt, exhaust, street food, and sweet promise.
The only place powerful enough to evoke an emotional reaction out of me upon landing.
The place where I am so small and minuscule, yet a part of some strange, fleeting movement bigger and more vibrant than anything fathomable.
I could fall in love here.
Not with a person -- no, not necessarily -- but with the entire, buzzing atmosphere of none other than New York City.
I want to build my future here.
To live within my means in a modest and cozy studio apartment, paying my way through each day with the next writing job that graces my desk.
Surrounded by books, the swarthy aroma of coffee, and solace.
But, really -- I could fall in love here.
I could meet you, you, 'The One,' in a library, a bookstore, a coffee shop, a sidewalk,
In a completely accidental-yet-impeccably-perfect manner.
And I will forever be changed.
For now, I will toss and turn but refuse to drown in a sea of unrelenting and undulating frustration.
I am pleased, yes. I am exuberant, yes. But I am not fulfilled.
The expected weekly grind -- walking through a campus and sitting through classes full of mere silhouettes of individuals.
Each one wearing a mask of hopeful anonymity to the outsiders, to each other.
The hazy, amaretto nights that weigh heavily on the trunk of my mind and the conscience,
The self-fulfilling pleasures that we are 'supposed' to experience, or better yet, endure.
The endless evenings spent over, under, in between covers, shrouded in mutual secrecy.
The greetings-turned-'just friends'-turned-curiosities-turned-something foreign, passionate, and fateful that forever leaves an imprint on the heart.
These things, all of these things, will flutter away with time,
The distance softening their sting, their mental potency.
Until then, I will run without abandon to the gates of this resplendent city, breathless and exhausted,
Yet rejoicing in the light of my destiny.

917 Into Oblivion

{ Thursday, October 6, 2011 }
Driving, white knuckles and black nails
Inhaling the sensual essence of autumn.
It's remarkable, really,
How hints of hickory that slice through my lungs bring on the waves of nostalgia,
Akin to waves of nausea,
Coaxing me, beckoning me to give in to my mind's photographic eye.
I swerve into the bend of the road,
Door open, ready to bolt.
Boots hitting the gravel and off we go.
It all comes back in waves,
Waves of color,
Aubergine, russet, and maroon --
The spectrum of dead leaves,
Decaying, rotting, and stagnant under a formerly beautiful specimen.
Do you remember?
Carving into wood the branding of initials,
Speaking a foreign language of plans and "one days,"
Soft fingers intertwined and exploring,
Brushing the hair from my innocent face,
Planting kisses all over me, my neck,
On the soft S of my back,
A "shh," a secret I couldn't keep covert even if I wanted to.
Arguments ending in a breathless entanglement of flesh,
Traversing the creek and calling it our own.
But the words got in the way.
My letters --
You hated them.
You hated the words, the beautiful, eloquent words.
You couldn't decipher the rich meaning,
And the frustration turned to wrath, turned to scorn.
You hated me.
You cursed every word I penned,
Cursed my dreams, my heart.
I began falling asleep alone,
Paperbacks cradled in my arms,
A hollowed, empty space where your heartbeat used to lie.
And then I was alone.
The words meant too much, they still mean too much --
They spill from my mouth like sweet wine to anyone who will listen,
From my pen like an amalgam of black ink and wantonness.
The letters don't stop --
I write to a quixotic "You," certain that one day I will find you.
The one ember left, shouldering and sparking in the wind, is hope.
It's all that I've got.
I slam the door, check the rear view for any glimmering mirage, and floor it into oblivion.


{ Friday, September 23, 2011 }
The entire room is buzzing.
The warm lights wax and wane,
Beats undulate and assist the heart in its nervous palpitations.
She slurs her words and gives unwarranted confessions;
Emotional promiscuity at its best.
The heart is out walking the streets tonight,
While the head resembles a steel trap
Full of grizzly bits of matter and scratches --
The telltale remnants of a ragged romance.
Irrevocably salacious lust --
Fueled by words,
The same words she just retched,
laced with regret and leaving a vile aftertaste.
Knuckles adorned with dainty teethmarks
From binging on, and eventually, purging
She leans back and drinks deeply,
Wishing in vain to become one with the walls.
Wishing to expunge her identity and go for round two,
This time without peeling back her delicate skin.
The cognizance spins 'round, and 'round, and 'round --
Just buzzing.


{ Saturday, July 16, 2011 }
August. Sun blazing, a sweltering day. The first day. Walking up the stairs timidly, taking a seat at the front of the room. Some kid is trying to strike up awkward small talk, to my relief it fizzles. Sitting down, looking around, wringing hands, looking down, the rest of them filter in. And then came you.
Aware of every atom of my being; every molecule is magnetized. And you were unaware.
Times passes, mental notes are taken -- the usual five minute late shuffle, the shyness. The eyes. Everything processed and locked away in the trunk of my mind.
And then came the glimpses.
Convinced they were fictitious, a figment of the hopeful imagination. But no, no -- that subtle but apparent upward curl of the lip, it gave you away.

Weeks, weeks, months -- no words.

Crisp leaves, slicing-through-your-lungs air. Procrastinating, leaving, you wind up next to me. Hands shaking, eyes darting. Close proximity. Say something. I ask something obvious I already know the answer to, eyes down. Burning. Kindness is returned. Thoughtful, slow words; eyes darting in nervous patterns. The only two left. 'Goodbye,' and I am addressed by name. I leave, heart pounding in my ears the entire way home.

Ice on the ground. Wordless weeks on end, no words -- the last week. The final week. Standing in the hall, fiddling with the phone. Body heat. Standing unnervingly close. You say nothing. I don't move. You make me so nervous. Leaving, leaving, gone.
The first half is over. Christmastime, home bound. "Good," I thought. Writing you off in permanent ink. Praying to never see you again. I don't think of you.

Return, to repeat. The same old routine with a new set of faces. I don't think. I don't wonder.
You surface.
Wait, you know my name? You remember? I turn around, you. Uttering a weak excuse of a greeting. Appetite deserts me -- it all rushes back and engorges my chest.

Pressing fast forward. Wait, you got my number? Corresponding, corresponding daily. Laughing, relating, relaxing. Sitting on the bathroom floor, mesmerized, hanging on to every word. Smiling doesn't stop, no, I fall asleep smiling, and I sometimes wake up that way too.
"No, no -- this cannot be real. For things like this do not happen to girls like me."
Sitting, benches. Talking, talking, more talking. A hand grazes my knee and I am paralyzed.

Fast forward more, more, more. Visits, talking, I breathe you in, magnetism. 3 a.m., and hesitation hangs so thickly.
No, wait, wait. My bed -- on my bed, in my bed, arms around waists, hands intertwined. Breathy whispers. Equal responses. My hand grazes your chest. I am so scared.
I tightly close my eyes.
"No, no -- this cannot be real. For things like this do not happen to girls like me."
Eyes open, you are still there. Pulling closer, stroking my face, my hair. "You're beautiful..." I pull you close and unite our eager lips. Falling asleep happy, innocent.
Wake up, kisses on shoulder blades. Creamy coffee. The sun rises and falls all over again, but the world looks much different now.
Walking in the moonlight, high heels in one hand, the other intertwined in yours.
Repeat, repeat. "You're beautiful..." You pull my hand down, I pull away. The contradictory action stings; you are a fallen god.

Fast forward, zooming onwards. Your place, so detailed, impressed. 2 a.m. "No, no...I should really be getting back." No, no, we're on the bed. In the bed. No hesitations, passionate, heated, urgency abound. Unbuttoning, silky soft skin. Kicking off the sheets, peeling off the shirt. Taking you in blindly, it's so, so dark. Hands memorizing your every contour, like a work of art. More and more, so much compromise -- ignoring pangs of guilt that shroud the room.
Breathing. "I can't, I can't." My faith, "I can't." Kissing me so deeply, "I can't." I wonder where you learned that, "I can't."
"No, no -- this cannot be real. For things like this do not happen to girls like me."
Sunshine burns the eyes. Sizzling skillets, kitchen table banter. Holding, and then returning me.

Days fly to the end of weeks. Talking, talking, talking. It's always repeat, repeat, repeat. "You're so beautiful..." no control, so much control -- so different than what I perceived. Astrological.
More, more, more of you.

Balmy air now, and the songs of birds. Walking to the car, goodbye for now. Plans. Sunrise drives down the interstate, long car rides. Wait, when did we hit the coast? Sand gets in my mouth, my eyes, waves are crashing, fading. The radio plays on repeat, eventually fading. We are fading.


Fast forward; this time it's the last time. Alone. Bitter heart, head down, walking, walking, walking. Past that first place on the first day where the first sight was had. Past the crosswalk I walked hand-in-hand. Headphones blaring, I see a mirage. Yes, it has to be a mirage. I'm praying it is.
No, just you.
Approaching, approaching, close, so close.
Heart pounding. Looking down, side to side, anything but ahead.
For a second time lags, eyes lock, sear into me, weak and half hearted smiles are given.
No words, just like before.
Only a glimpse, just like before.
Strangers, just like before.
"No, no -- this cannot be real. For things like this do not happen to girls like me."


{ Wednesday, June 29, 2011 }
A name that rolls off of my tongue with a sultry, seductive connotation

With ease and a hint of taboo.

A name that haunts me, infiltrating my mind's eye in childlike scrawl

Forever chalked onto the blackboard of nostalgia.

"Erase all you want, but you cannot dislodge the traces of truth," he says.
A name that burns me -- we waltzed in a wildfire doused and burnt out too soon --

Engulf me and watch me rise from the ashes, anew.

Au revoir, for now

{ Saturday, May 7, 2011 }

I am going on hiatus from this blog, after dedicating the last two years of my life to it. Through this blog I have shared my first two years of college, my experiences, hopes, interests, heartbreak, triumphs and growth. I have 73 amazing followers, many of whom reached out to me in times of need.

However, the next chapter of my life has begun and I must turn over the page and begin writing the next installation of my story. I will now be documenting my journey through life at http://thesummerexperiment.tumblr.com. This will essentially serve as my summer journal, with no detail or experience omitted. I feel as though I need to "jump start" my twenties by committing my time to something that I will love to reflect upon in the future. Every single day of my summer will be shared on this blog; it is a project meant to cultivate growth, in both mental and spiritual means, while also serving as an outlet for fun!

So, follow my journey by following my Tumblr. You can also keep in touch with me through my fashion and culture blog, http://www.theplasticsblogger.blogspot.com, that I share with my friend Anna.

I refuse to say goodbye, because this is not goodbye. It is simply a "see you soon" :)


Midnight Ramblings (It's not me, it's the insomnia talking)

{ Friday, April 29, 2011 }
Written in the key of "things I would like," set to the tune of "sleep deprivation":

I'd like to experience the summer of my lifetime. Full of exploration, learning, and splendor. Long days that seamlessly flow into one another without incidence. Reading in the grass, or by my secret place by the creek- a place that takes me into another realm. Grazing my fingertips along the spines of books in a library. Days spent in bed, solely for the purpose of thinking.

I'd like to write more. To write down anything, not just things of which I deem "of substance" but any minuscule thought worth elaborating upon. To write daily. To fully develop what I truly believe I have been blessed with- a working mind brimming with an endless supply of imaginative, nonsensical, poignant words.

I'd like to love. Not in the simple sense or utility of the word, but a love filled with immeasurable amounts of understanding, tenderness, and respect. Passion, eccentricity, madness, solace. To sleep next to someone in the simplest of terms- to literally drift into blissful slumber, resting peacefully due to the reassuring body heat next to me under the sheets. To be with someone who will challenge me on a regular basis- a playful, verbal spar is vital for the soul and mind. To sit and talk over coffee for hours; not topical, weightless conversation, but free-flowing banter that will open my eyes to new ideas and meaning in life. I've never had this before. To settle for less would be easy, but I won't.

That's all, really.


Sophomore year, syncopated

{ Friday, April 22, 2011 }
I've been very nostalgic this past week, almost to a fault. It has always been one of my weaknesses, to reflect upon the past on a regular basis. I don't do it out of sadness or loneliness, but only out of the sheer curiosity to see exactly what and how much I remember. So without further ado, I give you my sophomore year in crisp, detailed, memorized form:


Transferring to a new college was refreshing, promising, and a little unnerving all at once. Living outside of my own home for the first time was inexplicably liberating. Loving my Writing for the Mass Media class. My first college party. Reveling in the beauty of GCSU's front campus. The adventure that was Delta Sig's pool party, followed by a Braves game and a sunburn. Seeing Maroon 5 live.


First family visit. Frequent trips home for little to no reason. Late nights out, including the best rave of my life. Speeding to Walmart to buy the new Maroon 5 CD the day it came out. Being published front page of The Colonnade. Feeling confident about my future career goals.


The best Halloween weekend of all time. Being a flapper girl, Ke$ha, and a cat all within the span of three days. The beast known as midterms. Spending fall break in Savannah with my mother. Meeting Lauren Conrad after five years of covetting her life on TV. A completely unplanned trip to Stateboro. Falling in love with coffee. Carving a hideous "Hello Kitty" pumpkin.


Whitney moves in! Surviving the first, only, and worst 48 hour hangover. Unexpectedly learning that interesting people do, indeed, exist. Sticking up for myself for the first time in a long time. Eating Kuro Shima on a regular basis. Cultivating and focusing on my writing more than ever. Thanksgiving break. The Colonnade ropes course. Compulsively watching 500 Days of Summer.


Tacky sweater parties galore. Midnight runs to Kroger for single serving ice creams. Jello. The chaotic weekend leading up to finals week that was actually enjoyable. Struggling to stay up 'til 6 a.m. all for the sake of watching Jackass. Going home, and staying home, for a month. The most interesting New Year's Eve of my life (shotguns, really?). Multiple trips to Little 5 Points whilst home. Getting a new iPod. Finally seeing Black Swan and loving it wholeheartedly. The Shoemake Christmas. Going to bed at 4 a.m., sleeping until 1 p.m. on the regular. My mom's bright, promising prognosis. And falling, hard.


A new year with new expectations. Returning to school, only to be greeted with snow. Rollerblading in the hallway. Giving in. Learning that taking Statistics and Economics within the same semester is not wise. Weekend get-togethers. Realizing that I am more strong-willed than I thought. Letting go when neccesary, even though it literally kills. Making an obscenely huge frozen yogurt cone in Saga.


My love for sushi grows. My phone gets a ringtone that sounds like a T-Rex whenever I get a text message. Seeing B.o.B at our Homecoming concert and going crazy when "Beast Mode" was performed. The dollar sale in Little 5 Points. Bringing Lindsey home to visit. Utter amazement at the way life works. Swinging at the playground. Being awkward at all times. Dressing up fancy. Hating my first haircut in two years, but then loving it (figures). Playing Mario Kart. The birthday weekend to top all birthday weekends. Having 40 people in a dorm room at one given moment. Tarver's birthday panties. Whitney's birthday rap. Whitney's original song. Going to Macon to pick up a Macbook. Eating white pizza like there was no tomorrow. Adding to my collection of priceless vintage sweaters.


March? I truly believe that I slept through the entire 31 days and everything that transpired that month was purely fictional. But I kissed a camel and I turned 20. Go me.


So here I am, Starbucks always in hand, trekking my way through this life. I love it all. I am more cynical, jaded, and knowing now, but those traits are propelling me in the oddest way. This school year has taught me more about myself than all of my previous school years combined. As I sit here in my room and gaze at the bare walls that have been stripped of their contents in preparation for moving out, I know that they have not been stripped of the memories, love, and laughter that they contained over the last 8 months. I cannot wait to see what is in store for the rest of my college journey.

I was conversing with one of my best friends, Keri, when she said something that struck a chord within me: "When you look back and see how much your life changed for the 'better' in two months, just imagine where you will be two months from today. Anything is possible." Is is pure, astounding madness to watch life change around you. However, I refuse to let it pass me by without embracing it.


Bearstock 2011 & friends

{ Wednesday, April 20, 2011 }
Last weekend I had the most amazing time at Mercer University's annual Bearstock music festival. Nothing makes me happier than a beautiful day outdoors while enjoying live music with good friends, honestly. Thankfully, Bearstock served as a "last hurrah" for fun before the hectic weeks leading up to finals week and moving out from school!

The local acts were fantastic, with two standouts theKey and Parachute Musical really appealing to me (yes, that is me shamelessly plugging them- check them out!). By the time 3OH!3 took the stage, I was hyped and ready to go. Luckily, I got to enjoy their entire performance from the front row, rather than in the midst of a literal sea of people behind me.

This afternoon I found myself reflecting upon how music has brought so many important and significant people into my life over the years. Oddly enough, I would not have met any of the girls that I call my closest friends if it weren't for our similar tastes in music. I met my best friend, Carrie, freshman year of high school after commenting on her Fall Out Boy shirt, hah! In all seriousness, though, I believe music has the innate power to unite individuals that wouldn't have ever had a chance to connect otherwise.

Hopefully this summer will grant me with many more opportunities to revel in the splendor of live music! For tradition's sake, I will most likely attend Warped Tour- the atmosphere itself and insane people watching opportunities are simply too fun to miss out on!


Everything is everything; the more I talk about it, the less I do control

{ Thursday, April 14, 2011 }
I'm working for the weekend, honestly. I love my Thursday class schedule- having a nice 3 hour break in the middle of your day is a true blessing. The napping, blogging, and studying opportunities are boundless!

I'm the process of designing an entirely new blog, The Plastics, with my friend Anna. Our blog will primarily focus on fashion, street style, music, art, film, and random bits of culture that we find inspiring or interesting. It will be nice to deviate from my own blog to collaborate on a project covering topics that we are so passionate about!

My first story will cover Bearstock, an annual music festival sponsored by Mercer University in Macon. The entire day is full of local bands and will end with this year's headliner- a personal favorite of mine- 3OH!3. Needless to say, I am brimming with excitement to cover this event for the blog!

Now, for a timely outfit posting:

Lately, I've been a bit of a v-neck hound. I believe it's starting to become a bit of a problem! While I was in Savannah on spring break, I bought two of the versatile t's from Urban Outfitters, and proceeded to buy three more a couple of days later in an Urban in Atlanta. Like I said, I'm hooked. The necklace in the photos above is one of my absolute favorites- if you look closely enough, you'll see that it is Alice In Wonderland themed! (Psst, if you're reading this: Thank you Kaitlin, for the beautiful jewelry! I love you).
My chipper week has been punctuated with anxious thoughts and apprehensions, but I cannot let them bother me. My Publication Layout and Design course is such a challenge, which I love, but I've found it difficult to conjure new, fresh ideas to "stand out" with. This class has shown me that my creative strengths are in my words, rather than visual design. However, I will keep on keepin' on and design to the very best of my knowledge. It seems like employers in the mass media industry look for applicants that are the "whole package," so I will need to hone my design skills in due time.
I just have to keep in mind what I have in store this weekend, and I instantly perk up...


I don't know where I'm going, but I promise it won't be boring

{ Wednesday, April 13, 2011 }
The final month of school. It's finally here.

I sat in my room reflecting upon this entire school year for a good amount of time this afternoon, and the words simply cannot reach my tongue to describe it. Transferring to this college, my college, was the best decision I have made to date. It scares me to think about the person I would be if I hadn't encountered certain people, made the friends I have, or not lived through the experiences I have had since August. Every fiber of my being has been carefully shaped and molded by the year that marked my independence.

Now, more than ever, I am ready to embrace the future with open arms. Our stories are just beginning to unfold.

I want this summer to be the most significant and enriching of my life. I know you can probably sift through the archives of this blog and read the same line written in entries from 2011 and 2009, but I sincerely mean it. I've grown tired of settling for mediocre life experiences. I refuse to be lukewarm in anything I do. I'm tired of dipping my toes into the water when I should be diving headfirst into all aspects of life: my faith, work, travel, and aspirations.

The time is now. A certain passage from the Bible really spoke to me this evening:

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

The time is now.

I cannot wait to road trip with my friends to the oddest destinations, open myself to new experiences, and spend my afternoons in reflection or reading a book. My summer dream job is filing away books in a library all afternoon- perhaps I will finally land a position this year?

Below are a few snippets of inspiration that I have gathered via weheartit this week. All of the images have a special place in my heart, and I chose them all for a specific reason.


I stole this from my roommate's blog. Her name is Tarvis.

{ }

What was your first alcoholic beverage? Beer, unfortunately. I hated it and gave up after three measly sips.

How old were you when you first smoked weed? I never have, and I never will. I have no desire to.

Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? No. It's something I simply don't agree with nor find necessary.

Have you ever taken someone back after they’ve cheated? No.

Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail? Never! Haha, that is insanely terrifying to even ponder for the slightest moment.

If you married the first person in your text inbox, what would your last name be? McDougal. Oh, how grand it would be to be of Scottish descent.

Have you ever peed while on the phone? Possibly. It adds some pee-ceful background noise.

What do you have pierced on you? Only my ears. I considered my nose at one point, but that just seems horribly cliche and trendy these days.

What do you have tattooed on you? Nothing, I really don't care for them. Not on my own body, at least.

Have you ever been on a blind date? No! Seems a little unnerving.

Do you remember your first favorite song? "Mmmbop" by Hanson. Kill me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Only when I'm sharing the bed with someone. Weird, right?

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I would hope not. However, when you remove yourself from a two year relationship, one begins to wonder...

Next time you will kiss someone? I'm not quite sure, the sense of wonder and unknown makes the possibility even more tantalizing. Ah-hah!

Have you ever injected a drug? Never!

Who are the people you would do anything for? My family, wonderful friends, and roommates.

When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Hm, roughly some time after returning to school from Spring Break. In retrospect, it wasn't heartbreak, but more like mixed feelings of inadequacy, disgust, utter confusion, and demolished expectations of something that had a chance.

Do you get along better with the same sex or opposite? I'd say either, it honestly depends on the personality traits, similar interests, moral stature, etc. of the other person, regardless of gender.

What is something you disliked about your day? The sad truth that I'm most likely retiring to bed hungry. Never a good situation.

Your current relationship status? Single, and learning to tolerate myself.

Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yes. The thing is, I had the words on the tip of my tongue- and proceeded to fall asleep. Oh, typical me.

Do you currently hate someone? No, I wouldn't go that far.

Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move? Once, in Destin when I was 14. I'll never forget the pain, ah.

What is bothering you right now? Nothing really, aside from the acute growling in my stomach and the fact that I am entirely too dependent on coffee. I feel as though caffeine dictates my life these days!

What do you have to do tomorrow? Numbly calculate numbers in Statistics, give a reading presentation in Fine & Applied Arts, read, journal, make coffee, go to Campus Outreach, think of cunning and witty things to say, save a baby panda, etc.

Last night you felt? Creative and productive! I made progress on a new lifestyle/fashion blog I am launching with a friend.

What are you looking forward to? Venturing to Macon to see 3OH!3 this Saturday! I've been itching to go to a good concert for months, and the time has almost arrived. I cannot wait to break out my shameful dance moves, and attempt to crowd surf.

If you’re being extremely quiet what’s it mean? It usually means I am hurt and would rather disappear than open my mouth, for fear that I will spill any or all of my emotions. Or, that I'm tired. You never know with me, I like to keep it a mystery.


We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it

{ Monday, April 4, 2011 }
One thing has been proven loud and clear lately- life is in constant motion, and we've all just got to keep running. We can't give up when we are faced with disappointment, or regret. After returning to school from spring break, I am more ready now, than ever, to divide and conquer. This semester has been taxing on my sanity, but in five weeks it will be history.
Thankfully, I have decided to stay at school for Maymester where I will be taking...drum roll please: Magazine Writing! I am beyond excited for this course, seeing as it is exactly what I want, and will, do with my life. I aim to dive headfirst into my work this summer and see where my writing takes me.
Enjoy a few snippets of things I find newsworthy, interesting, and all-around fantastic as of late.

James Franco Turned...Professor?

According to E! Online, 127 Hours actor James Franco will begin teaching a third year course on directing at NYU. When can I apply as a transient student? Hah! I find it fascinating that he is so deeply in love with acting that he is teaching a course pertaining to the craft. Needless to say, Franco has ample talent and brains.

Spring-y Street Style

I'm such a sucker for street style- I simply cannot get enough of it! I'm excited for lightweight denim, slouchy t's, eccentric jewelry, cuffed shorts and sun-streaked hair. I've already raided Urban Outfitters for staples like v-neck t's, flouncy skirts, and colorful sneakers. Now it's time to hit the thrift stores for more off-the-wall, authentic finds to complete my spring and summer wardrobe. Let the hunt begin!

Natalie Portman

The photo really says it all, does it not? She is beautiful, talented, and incredibly intelligent. Honestly, I am obsessed. She is my inspiration! Hollywood is in dire need of more actresses like Ms. Portman- someone who respects the craft and takes it seriously. Which leads me to...

Patrick Marber's "Closer"

Never has a movie left me feeling so emotionally drained, raw, and pensive. A film about the complexity of human relationships and the fuel behind them, Closer is a multi-faceted gem. Luckily, I have had the freedom to choose any play to write my final analysis on for my Fine & Applied Arts course, and Closer is simply my only option. I'm so incredibly excited to write this paper that it doesn't even feel like work. I cannot wait to sit down, analyze the characters scene-by-scene and see how their interactions pan out on paper.

Empire of the Sun

Debatably the oddest band I have ever discovered, Empire of the Sun is completely rocking my world at the moment. I honestly cannot bear to tear my ears away from them! If you've never given them a listen to before, check out "Walking On a Dream." With its 80s synth and catchy chorus, you'll be humming it in no time.
So, there you have it- everything that has been keeping my world in rotation as of late. I've finally found my rhythm and found an inner feeling of calm when it comes to school. Hopefully I will be tending to this blog much more in the coming weeks. Tomorrow I am meeting with my friend Anna to discuss starting a fashion blog (over wondrous coffee, of course). Please check out her blog at http://iamyourwallflower.blogspot.com/!


Spring 2011 Closet Staples, Life

{ Sunday, March 6, 2011 }
When I started this blog nearly two years ago, my intent was to keep Lindsay Out Loud focused solely on fashion, art, and culture. It has morphed into something wonderful and personal, although I'd like to take a moment to go back to its roots and highlight one of the things I love most about the change in seasons- new clothing! Below are a few random snippets of things I adore and would love to house in my closet.

I feel a bit shallow posting purely fashion-related items on my blog, so I suppose a concise life update would be nice as well?
After a rocky start of the semester, life-wise and academically, I have finally gotten myself back on the road to greatness. Study hours have been set in place and I have kept my procrastination in check. It's crazy to believe that we are already halfway through this semester. Heck, I'm halfway through college. It's scary and exhilarating all at once, to think that in a mere two years I will be on my own, working to pay my way through life, hopefully doing what I love most in a city full of vibrance and promise.
Lately I have been falling asleep smiling, and waking up in utter disbelief. Life is such an unpredictable and rewarding journey, honestly.
I am so happy. Since I am in such a wonderful and blissful mood, enjoy some free tunes courtesy of Urban Outfitters!


"We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine."

{ Wednesday, February 16, 2011 }
It has been one of those rare weeks. A week where the edges of dream and reality blur and bleed into something too perfect and simple. I don't know if it's the warm weather, the clear skies, or my budding optimism, but happiness is encompassing my life in ways I never thought possible.
It's hard to believe that I'm entering the final two weeks of my teen years. I'm not sad, only a bit nostalgic. I honestly believe with all of my heart that the best years are yet to come and my story is just beginning.
Pardon the digression, but shall we continue with the upbeat mood? I recently made a list of the things that make me happiest in life, so why not present them in graphic form? Sure, they may be simple, strange or silly, but they define me. I wouldn't change a thing.

Need I say more? Preferably lots of it, in many varieties. Avocado rolls, California rolls, and salmon rolls can gladly reside in my belly.

They are the happiest flower out there, I believe. Nobody has ever brought me sunflowers before, but if and when it happens I will perform multiple happy dances in public. Bet on it.

I don't really know where my odd fascination with dinosaurs started. Most likely when I fell in love with Jurassic Park when I was five. Anyway, I think they're pretty neat and I would definitely own this hoodie. If only it came in adult sizes.

Holding hands.
A simple gesture, I know, but it means more than anything to me. And makes me smile like an idiot.

The only breed of dog I have ever owned, and will always own. Sure, it takes a while to get used to the lack of...face, but they are the sweetest! Nothing is comparable to a Pekingese waking you up in the morning.

Oh, the endless wonders of rolling around on four wheels. Indoors, outdoors, it doesn't matter- I break out my roller blades and zoom around like they're going out of style. Oh, wait they already are...

Jim Halpert.
Yes, I know he is a fictional character. Regardless, he is witty, intelligent, boyishly handsome, and embodies every endearing, awkward trait that I find irresistible. Oh, gee.


Being front row at concerts.
Honestly, there is nothing like it. Being in front of all the action, singalongs, and music makes me feel so full of life.

A little retro photography never hurt anyone, right? Whenever the rare chance comes along that I get my hands on one of these cameras, I happily snap away.

Think of the little things in your life that make you smile. They may be insignificant, but they all mean something.


Love (noun): 1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

{ Monday, February 14, 2011 }
Happy Valentine's Day, blog readers! Although I do not have a Valentine this year, I'm still celebrating the fact that I am surrounded by loved ones and couldn't be happier with my life.
I'm so lucky. We all are.
Below is a collection of images that make my heart flutter. Yes, they may be silly, mushy, or downright cheesy- but what can I say?
They all make me smile incredibly too much.

Be kind, tell someone you love them today. It may be your mom, your best friend, your crush, your dog, or even God. Just do it, and do it all of your heart.